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A year ago I arrived in New Zealand from Canada and found work with the Napier Family Centre as a youth worker. I was soon busy working with youth from all kinds of backgrounds with all kinds of challenges. Problems of bullying, anger, sadness, and substance abuse became my daily work. Somehow though, it wasn’t all that bad.

 

What impressed me was how open and honest the youth were. Although they didn’t know me, as soon as we were left to talk, they talked. They told me about everything that was going on in their life and how they felt about it. Listening confirmed my belief that the main ‘problem’ with youth is that they feel they have no one to talk to.

 

When working with a young person, I tried to point out their strengths and when they had made a good decision. It was obvious how happy they were to hear that they weren’t dumb or weak. Supporting and believing in them gave me the distinct impression that they have never heard positive things about themselves before.

 

Of course there are challenges for youth in my work. There are people in a young person’s life who are sometimes not willing to change or even look at their own behaviour. They are not willing to bend a little or to meet them half way. Another challenge that we all face at times, is our environment. At times I think it would be great to just pick them up and drop them in another world where they don’t have the same barriers. However, we cannot take someone out of their community; be it their group of friends, school, or family. Instead we work with them and hope that they can learn to grow ‘inside’ so that they can make better decisions in their environment.

 

The young people I have met and worked with have both impressed and inspired me. These young men and women can laugh at the smallest things. They are patient to explain about their life and their culture and how things work. They take me seriously when I challenge them about their choices and who they are. These ‘kids’ have survived feeling unloved at school, home, in their community, or in all of the above. Yet somehow, they keep on going and keep their dreams alive, often burying them down deep.

 

When I began my work in Napier I was told not to expect too much gratitude for my work. However, I have found the opposite. You may hear people talking about “ungrateful teenagers”, I have yet to meet one. Smiles, thank yous, and hugs are all ways that these “ungrateful teenagers” have thanked me. It is really I who must thank them for teaching me again and again the importance of unconditional care and support in all of our lives.